KristineMacMillan_

The Greatest Conspiracy of All Time.

December 19, 2022December 19, 2022KristineMacMillan_

And what to do when your kids discover the truth!

Nope, I’m not talking about the moon landing, or the JFK assasination, or even the more recent wild conspiracies out there.
I’m referring to the age old conspiracy most parents play an active roll in between mid-November all the way up to Christmas Day. That’s right! The big guy who lives in the North Pole and delivers over a billion presents in a day, travelling by sleigh pulled by flying reindeer.

Now that we all know what this post is about, please ask children to leave the room and lock your door, ‘cause even as I write this, I’m concerned my kids may find it and all their childhood dreams , hopes and wishes will instantly evaporate, and I will be the worst mom ever!

As a mother of an eleven year old, who is wavering in her once rock solid beliefs, my question is, what happens when the curtain is pulled and all she sees is boring old Mom and Dad placing presents under the tree?

Yet, somehow, we all seem to work together to pull it off- Heck, there are even apps and websites that help us all solidify this grand fabrication. The postal service is even in on it… and you better believe our house has a little elf named “ Starry Star” that moves around to a new location each night, after her long journey back from the North Pole to update Santa on their behaviour the day before.

I’ve spoken with several parents whose Christmas’s no longer revolve around Santa, elves and reindeer, and their stories are varied.

One mom of 3 boys (2 are older, one younger) decided to invite the older boys to join in on creating the magic for their little brother when they first found out. This helped to keep the magic alive a little longer, and they enjoyed their new role as co-conspirators, moving elves and playing it up. There didn’t seem to be an earth shattering response I so utterly fear.

Another momma with 2 boys-her oldest on the autism spectrum-described a heart breaking account of the Christmas Santa “died” at her house.
Her older son had pieced together some anomalies, leading him to discover the truth. Upon confronting his mom, he displayed feelings of anger and betrayal. To her surprise, he then demanded she tell his brother the truth, unwilling to play into the conspiracy he felt so betrayed by. She went on to tell me after this initial blow out and discussion, they continued with Christmas without revealing the big news to his younger brother, things seemed to level out , and her older son even appeared happy. She later found him in his room and did a check in, “so… how was your Christmas?” To her dismay, he announced it was the “worst Christmas ever” and any trace of “happiness” was faked.
She was heartbroken after all the time and energy put into that day.

One friend simply never played into the conspiracy, telling her kids at a very young age Santa was pretend, but it was not something to tell other kids who did believe in him.

Several other parents said their kids caught on to the whole thing before they knew it- but played along for fear of “missing out” on Santa gifts!

So, here I sit, with this beautiful eleven year old who wants so hard to believe, yet her critical mind asks questions, and her attention to detail has become superb when analyzing the many things associated with this conspiracy I so happily play into each year.
Now let me introduce you to my 7 year old son, who’s exclaimed, “I don’t believe in Santa!” on several occasions. He’s always been unsure, scoffing at the elf he says, “ looks like a stuffed toy to me!” Yet, my daughter always brings him back into the magic, questioning his cynicism, “well, then who puts all the gifts under the tree, or sends us Christmas letters in the mail?” To this he shrugs, and tries to play along the best he can.

I’ve had to remind myself many times this year why this grand conspiracy was so important to me? Why do I need to participate in it? And here’s what I’ve come up with:

When I was a kid I LOVED the magic of Santa! There were no elves or Santa letters, but the magic was real to me. I still remember the joy I felt when I could have sworn I heard Jingle bells on my roof, and quickly fell back asleep so santa didn’t catch me awake!
Once you pull back the magical veil of make-believe, you can never go back to that beautiful fairy land place- except with mind altering drugs, but that’s for a different post!
The realities of the world can be dark, scary and downright sad! The longer my kids can just be KIDS the better!
When I think back to the moment I did finally catch my own dad placing presents under the tree, I have no resentments or negativity associated with that moment.
Playing into the conspiracy and doing ALL the things allows me to live vicariously through my children- their joy, brings me joy.

Knowing my “ Why” and also knowing this is likely my last year of full blown magic, I come back to the question. What should I do as it all starts to be revealed?

When asked “Is Santa Real?” I’ve been responding with, “Do you believe he is real?” To which I conclude… “That is all that matters then.” This way it feels less like lying, and more like letting her decide for herself.
My husband and I continue to move the darn elf every night and even write notes if necessary. Even as the magic fades, we continue to put in the effort, knowing it’s likely our last year.
This is the most daunting and important of all. Make a game plan for next year.
Likely Santa will naturally fade into the world of make believe as my daughter enters grade 7. However, I’m planning to discuss it with her before the next Christmas season rolls around. A hardcore belief in Santa by this age will get tricky in the school yard, so I plan to lay it on her gently and invite her to play the magic out for her skeptical little brother.

One thing I know for sure, is I never expected this phase to be so hard. Not once did I think about the day Santa would “die” in my kids eyes, not until this year!

For now, the conspiracy lives on, but I want to hear your stories! How did the truth come out in your house? Did it go well? Were there tears? Do your kids still believe and you’re nervous about what happens when the truth comes crashing down?
Share your stories below!

Deciphering Fact from Fiction in a Biased World

February 24, 2022February 25, 2022KristineMacMillan_

Deciphering fact from fiction is increasingly difficult these days. There used to be a time when turning on the 6 o’clock news meant understanding the complexities of today’s world. When I was in college, I took a media communications class and one thing that stood out for me was that journalism, at its core, is supposed to be non-biased. It is supposed to be a fact based description of the events that are taking place in our world- yet somewhere along the way, I discovered biases have been growing and are ever present in our media today. This has obviously been an issue for many years and was one that was discussed in that very class. All humans have underlying biases based on their personal experiences and perception of the world. You, as you read this, will have your own biases; you’ll read this through the lens in which you live your life. So with so many biases, with so many perspectives, with so much information available at our fingertips, how can we possibly determine what is truth?

Is it time to delete Facebook?

February 4, 2022February 4, 2022KristineMacMillan_

Seems odd right? You may have clicked a link on Facebook to read this article and it is likely I shared it there. The reality is Facebook (fb) has become a powerful tool. A large number of people site fb as their main source of news and during times of growing mistrust of mainstream media, it has become a tool to get real-time information delivered to your hand held device almost instantaneously. Facebook and social media in general has the power to bring people together and the power to tear them apart, as we have seen most recently in the ongoing Covid Mandate Debate.

So why do I suggest deleting facebook? This is a question I’ve contemplated many times over. I have done tech detoxes, deleted the app from my phone and enabled time restrictions to prevent overuse –and yet, I still feel the overwhelming hold this app has on me. Each time I contemplate deletion, I compile a running list of pros and cons. The list usually goes something like this:

How to Disagree and Stay Friends

October 20, 2021October 22, 2021KristineMacMillan_

Well, unless you have been living under a rock (which sounds kinda great actually), you have likely noticed the undercurrents of unrest, division and mistrust that are rising to the surface. We have become a society that will sooner choose to hate another rather then understand another. And as such, I have heard of friendships and family ties being tested a lot right now. As I witness the world around me, I wonder, is there a way to be in disagreement and still find love? I truly believe the answer is yes. We cannot and should not just surround ourselves with people who think exactly like us. This is not conducive to growth and learning. Being around people whose opinion differs from your own is such an awesome opportunity to practice patience, learn something we may not have considered or simply debate a topic we are passionate about.

I Recently Got Vaccinated and I Won’t be Celebrating

August 24, 2021August 24, 2021KristineMacMillan_

* I initially wrote this about a week ago, and I had no idea how fast the train was really moving until todays announcement by the BC Government.

I got my vaccine the other day. You won’t see me posting a smiling picture holding up a sticker that reads “I just got my COVID Vaccine.” You will not find me online pleading for others to do it too. You just won’t and hopefully I can explain why…

For months, I have felt like I was on a train steadily rolling down the tracks and the speed keeps increasing each day. On this train, I am surrounded by friends, family and local community members, and the once smiling friendly bunch of folks chanting “we are all in this together”, are starting to frown and threaten to throw me off the train. That’s what it has felt like. And don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of people throughout the crowd that would come and pull me back in, but the speed of the train would simply make that too challenging.

Podcasts You Should Listen To

February 6, 2021February 6, 2021KristineMacMillan_

Podcasts have become a big part of my life, especially during this pandemic. It provides me a source of comfort, distraction, information and inspiration. I love finding new podcasts and often absorb the content at a rapid pace.

If you follow me on Instagram, you may know I have started my own podcast along with two other women. Since launching, I have realized there are a lot of people who have yet to discover this beautiful world of free information, and if you don’t know where to start, it is SO overwhelming. There are thousands of podcasts out there, so knowing where to start is huge. I suggest scrolling through the episodes and start by choosing an interview with someone you like or are curious about… there is no right way to listen. Jump around, try different ones out.
Where to listen: All Iphone users have a podcasts app… it’s purple… go investigate. Check out Spotify, you can download the app for free. Those are the main two. Go check them out, most podcast platforms are free, some like Luminary, ask for a subscription fee… which is worth it if you find someone on it you really like.

Please check out my list of favorite discoveries, and why I think you too should jump into the podcast world and listen too. Please note these are not listed in any specific order!

I am…

December 30, 2020August 24, 2021KristineMacMillan_

Cracking Open- How Hatching Eggs Taught me a Powerful Lesson

December 4, 2020December 9, 2020KristineMacMillan_

What does it mean to crack open? For a chick, this means escaping from an increasingly tight environment after a series of exhausting efforts. For a chick it takes about 21 days to enter a huge world. For me, it meant leaving a cushy job after 10 years. For me, this moment came after some of the most challenging and painful moments of my life. For me, it took 31 years and some very intense struggling and suffering before I was ready to ‘crack open.’

In April of 2020, when it was apparent this pandemic did not have a foreseeable end, we decided to incubate 12 fertilized chicken eggs. We repeated the process again in August with 24 eggs. My daughter was thrilled and it became a family affair, all of us pitching in. After 18 days dutifully rotating the eggs three times per day, you stop and wait about 3 days for what is called a ‘pip ‘- a small hole in the shell and the first sign of hatching. This was all new to me and incredibly fascinating. I could not believe that a combination of heat, humidity and rotating, could turn a delicious breakfast food into a tiny fuzzy creature. The excitement grew and it appeared our work, time and energy was all paying off. Let them all come out safely, I would think to myself.

Comparison and why we need to let it go.

November 5, 2020November 10, 2020KristineMacMillan_

Intro

During the last several months I have found myself focussing on a number of different topics. Usually these topics involve pieces of me that no longer serve me in a positive way; parts of me I am working through and want to let go. I had initially wanted to call this blog ‘Letting Shit Go’ to encompass my self growth since turning 30. It seems all I am doing is unpacking all the items that have been jammed into my hypothetical suitcase and Marie Kondo’ing the shit outta it. “Does this particular belief bring me joy?” I hold it close for a moment and if it gives me the icky feelings it’s time to toss that shit out. There is no recycling or thrift storing… I am trying my hardest not to put it out on the rug so my kids can pick it up and toss it in their suitcases… I am trying to let some shit go.

Comparison has been one of those things I’ve been holding closely. I’ve been trying to figure out my relationship with. Does it serve me in a positive way?
My answer is…. no. And I invite you to take in this topic and see where you land.

I have come to the conclusion that there are 3 major forms of comparison in our lives. Comparing to those who appear ‘better than’ us; comparing to those who appear ‘less then’ us; and finally comparing ourselves to our past or future self. Please note that I use the words ‘appear’, because when we get caught up in comparison we make up an artificial story about who we are comparing to. What we see is never the full story. Chances are that many people you hold in the ‘better then me’ category, may hold you in the same category for different reasons.

I have also come to believe all forms of comparison lead to a similar result- a feeling of inadequacy; a feeling of unworthiness; a feeling of ‘never enough’.

Gratitude During a Pandemic

October 12, 2020KristineMacMillan_

What better time to reflect on the things we are grateful for then on Thanksgiving weekend. But why only set aside one weekend a year to focus on giving thanks?

It is easy in our consumer culture to feel the need for MORE MORE MORE. It is easy to feel that what we already have, is not enough. It is easy to look into the future and say, “Once I have [Fill in the blank] I will feel happy.” You can fill anything into that space: a new car, bigger house, a baby, a puppy, that new jacket, lost 20 lbs, got that big promotion…. whatever fits the story in your head. It is so easy to do this. It is easy to create a projected timeline of happiness based on items you do not yet have. Marketing, advertisements and social media all help us fill in that blank. These mediums feed us the images we need to feel as though what we have is not enough. To feel as if we can only truly be happy once we have reached that milestone or obtained that object.

My Midlife Moments

Author: KristineMacMillan_