I am…

KristineMacMillan_

I am not the Bravest
               (and I never will be.)

I am not the Boldest
               (and I never will be.)

I am not the Fittest
               (and I never will be.)

I am not the Kindest
               (and I never will be.)

I am not the most Beautiful
               (and I never will be.)

I am not the Strongest
               (and I never will be.)

I am not the Smartest
               (and I never will be.)

I am not the Fiercest
               (and I never will be.)

I am not the most Creative
               (and I never will be.)

BUT

I AM BRAVE
I AM BOLD
I AM FIT
I AM KIND
I AM BEAUTIFUL
I AM STRONG
I AM SMART
I AM FIERCE
I AM CREATIVE

               I am me, and that is all I want to be.

Kristine MacMillan- December 2020

When I look back on my earlier life, I’ve come to realize something; whenever I started an activity and got into it a bit, I always noticed there were one/two or several other participants who were always better then me, which is true of most things in life… there almost always will be someone who is better. Something would happen internally at this point… Out of fear of failure perhaps… or fear of NOT excelling, I would quit. I figured if I wasn’t gonna be the best at something why even bother? I gave up singing… fuck it, I’m not the best. I stopped Piano, Fuck it, I’m not the best, why bother. I quit gymnastics… fuck it, I’m not the best, why bother. I stopped dance… fuck it, I’m not the best why bother.

When we don’t do something, because we can’t do it perfectly, or we are not the best at it, we lose out on so many things.

  1. We lose out on experiencing joy. Instead of enjoying the activity wholeheartedly, we compare ourselves to others around us and lose site of the joy we feel while doing it.
  2. We lose out on the opportunity to improve. I’ve come to realize perfection does not exist, but if we give up too soon we can never possibly reach our fullest potential… whatever that may look like.
  3. We lose out on potential mentor ship. I struggle with critique, but know it is necessary for growth. If we don’t keep with something because of fear of criticism, we miss out on our greatest moments as students. We miss out on learning more from our teachers.

This post is intended to inspire you as you move into 2021. This poem is an example of a limiting belief I am overcoming. AS you reevaluate your goals or set intentions or resolutions or whatever you want to call it, for 2021, take it one small step at a time, celebrate the little improvements and don’t compare your “beginning” to others “middle”.

Self Reflection:

  1. Did you ever quit anything in your life due to fear of NOT Being the BEST?
  2. List 3 activities, things you want to learn but have been scared to sign up for.
  3. If you could pursue any of these activities this year would you? Why or Why not?